Aliens are Idiots
by kawkodile
Summary: When Tart encounters with a Fairy, he wishes that Kish, Pai and him could be humans for 100 days, just to know what it feels like. Can the brothers make it, or are they just too idiotic to have what it takes to be human? Find out it Aliens are Idiots!
1. Chapter 1

**i used to be iNobody**

**therefore i did not steal this from her**

**kthanksbye**

* * *

Kish: Pai, when are we going to attack?

Pai: Patience, Kish. I'm still thinking of a plan.

Tart: It's so boring here, though.

Kish: Ever since we lost the battle with the mews, we have been lazing around, doing absolutely nothing.

Pai: I admit it is a little dry today – humor me, Kish.

Kish: Let's see. Oh, heh! Listen to this human shit -- there's a mythological creature that humans believe in and it's called a farty!

Tart: You mean Fairy, Kish.

Kish: Oh, yeah.

Pai: Hm. Interesting. What does it do?

Kish: It grants wishes.

Pai: Hah! That's rich. Well thanks, Kish. You have officially lifted my spirits.

Kish: Hey, Taruto?

Tart: What?

Kish: (Smirks) Do you believe in fairies?

Tart: (Sweat drops) O-of course not!

Kish: When one comes, are you going to wish for candy?

Tart: Quit it!

Pai: Yes, Kish cut that out. Besides, -chuckle- he'd wish for Pudding.

(Kish and Pai burst with laughter)

Tart: (Blushes madly) Shut up!

Tart: You guys are on crack! (Runs to his room while Kish and Pai are having fits of laughter)

------------------------------------------Taruto's Chamber-----------------------------------------

Tart: Just what are they trying to say with this fairy crap? They're making a deuce out of me! Why those no-good backstabbing brothers. GAH! I can't take this anymore! They pick on me just because I'm the youngest. It's not fair.

Voice: What's not to be fair, Taruto?

Tart: Well for one thing there's—WAIT. Who said that?

Voice: (Giggle) Let me introduce myself. I am Mahou, your fateful fairy.

Tart: Fairy? Ha-ha very funny. Jokes over, Kish, Pai. I'm really pissed now.

Voice: Pai? Kish? Aren't those names of pastries?

Tart: Show yourself! Stop playing games!

Voice: Very well. (A fairy in white clothes and a black crown reveals herself to Tart) I am Mahou, your fairy. I'd give you three wishes, but the last time I did that the genies sued me. So you get 1 wish, kiddo.

Tart: Psht. You're not even real.

Mahou: You can always give it a try. Nothing's at risk or anything. (devilish smile)

Tart: Well, if there's nothing to lose…I wish that my brothers and I could be humans for 100 days, just to know what it feels like.

Mahou: Your wish is my command. Now that will be 50 bucks.

Tart: WHAT?!?

Mahou: Kidding, kidding.

Tart: Tch.

Mahou: Mahou Mahou Magico~!

Tart: Ugh…where am I? What happened? Pai? Kish? Mmm (Yawn)

(Tart walks to a mirror)

Tart: OH, CRAP!!!

(the alien's ship transforms into a humble house in the middle of a quiet neighborhood)

(Tart catches a glimpse and notices that he has no alien pointy elf ears, and his hair was released from it's ponytails and now hung all the way to the nape of his neck)

Kish: Eh, Taruto. Why are you up so early?

Tart: Look! Look in the mirror!

Kish: Sure…but I don't see where you're going with this---OH, CRAP!!!

Kish: Where are my ears? What's with this hideously scrawny thing in the place of my ear? AcK! What happened to my clothes???

(Kish was wearing black pajamas and his forest-green hair was now short and combed. He had 3 earrings on one of his ear, and wore a studded belt.)

Pai: What's with all the yelling?

Kish & Tart: Look in the mirror!

Pai: Why?

Kish & Tart: Just do it!!!

Pai: Okay, but if this is some kind of practical joke I'm going to smash your head in---WHAT THE HECK?!

Kish: Heh I don't look half bad.

Pai: What am I wearing?!?

(Pai was wearing an indigo spiked collar, with a tight dark long sleeve shirt that showed all of his biceps and muscles, and navy blue jeans that eally skinny on him. His hair was simply the same except that his ponytail was gone)

Pai: GWAH!!!

Kish: I'm so hot –smirk-

(While Kish turned around and admired himself, Pai had rushed to his chamber and frantically searched his closet. He had earth clothes. Tart just stood there, in one place, in the mist of things, thinking about the fairy)

Tart: No. Way.

Pai: Meeting room. Now. We must discuss what has happened.

Kish: Right. Off we go, Taruto.

(Kish skips merrily off)

Tart: (Slaps his head) Oy…

Pai: (picks wedgie, Tart and Kish giggle) Hey, now. Do any of you have evidence of what occurred?

Tart:_ Should I tell Pai? He would understand, wouldn't he? Oh. I better not. Now, how many days did I ask to be a human? 100? Oh yeah. Gagh, that retarded fairy was real! Ack. Besides, it's looks weird and funny to see Pai in human-form. And Kish looks so darn happy. Maybe this was a good wish…though I can't get sidetracked._

Pai: Anyone..? Then I guess we have to just wait for now. Besides, I—

*DING DONG*

Pai: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!

Kish: OMFG we're under attack!

Tart: Take cover! (throws self behind the couch)

*Ding Dong*

Kish: What is it?

Pai: I think it's coming from the door. (Walks over)

*DING DONG*

Kish: How do you open earth doors?

Tart: I don't know. On our planet, Omoi, all we had to do was verification password.

*DING DONG*

Pai: What's this gold little brass over here? (Turns the knob, short fat bald guy stands in doorway)

Voice: FINALLY!

Tart: Well _sorry_! You humans are ----OW! (Kish jabs Tart in the hips)

Kish: Heh heh. –whispers- We shouldn't blow our cover, Tart. We could be handed over to the FBI.

Tart: -whispers- so what?

Kish: -whispers- and be dissected

Tart: (Gulp)

Pai: What did you come for, earthling—I mean, comrade?

Person: Well, I am sorry to say, but you boys are evicted. Move your stuff to the curb. Come on.

Kish: Evicted? What's that?

Person: Don't play dumb with me. Now move out! Where are your things?

Tart: We don't have any…

Person: What a strange family. Now GET OUT!

Pai: DON'T TELL US WHAT TO DO, EARTHLING!!!!! (fire in his eyes lolz)

Person: I-I'm sorry! (Runs away) Yipe yipe yipe! Mommy! Mommyyyy!

Kish: Hey, Pai. What DOESevicted mean?

Pai: Let me check. (gets laptop and searches on google: What does evicted mean?)

Kish: All hail the power of Google!

Pai: It means when human beings kick other human beings out of their own homes.

Tart: That's crude.

Kish: (Sigh) This is going to take a lot of getting used to…

------------------------------------------Jumping for Juice-------------------------------------------

Tart: Pai, I'm thirsty. Make me some 'pahoehoe (PA-HOWEE-HOWEE) juice.'

Pai: Pahoehoe juice? Taruto, we could have had that only if we were aliens. Pahoehoe juice is in a volcano. Humans would burn up if they went in a volcano.

Kish: Whoa, that's lame.

Tart: So then what do humans drink?

Pai: I have no clue. Now leave me to my work, I have research to do.

Tart: (Wailing) But I'm_ thirrrsssttyy!_

Pai: Shut up, insect. So am I.

Tart: (Jumps on Pai) Listen, punk. I want something to drink, and I want something to drink, NOW!

Pai: Yeesh, Taruto. Get off me. I'll see what I can do.

(1 HOUR LATER)

-pai is studying the yellowbook pages-

Pai: Ah, here we go. We could go to the grocery store?

Kish: Sure thing. How do we get there?

Pai: Heh. (Smiles evilly) That's where I come in.

--------------------------------------- To Give an Alien a Car---------------------------------

Tart: Are you sure you know how to drive a car? (Back seat)

(Kish squirming in passenger seat; trying to get seat buckle on)

Pai: Quit your worrying, Taruto. Let's see, shift it to reverse. Reverse…hmm…reverse. Ah, is it this one? (Presses the pedal to maximum power) They go flying back 100 miles per hour and crash into a tree)

Kish Pai & Tart: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kish: You almost killed us!

Pai: Well so what!? At least these little air thingies (Refers to Air Bags) saved us!

Tart: Let me drive!

Pai: No! Limit is 18 years of age. I'm nineteen. (Says it rather proudly) –been researching much?

Tart: Whoa, you're cool.

Kish: (Whispers to Tart) One thing you can't ever take away from Pai is his dignity.

Pai: I heard that! Here we go AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~KRASH~

Tart: You hit a passing pedestrian!!

Kish: What the hell is a pedestrian?!

Pedestrian: MY LEG!!!!

Kish: Your fault, lady!!!

(3 hours later)

-police station-

Police Officer: What is your name, son?

Pai: Pai.

Police officer: No, really.

Pai: Pai.

Police: I know you like pie. Ok, wise-crack, tell me the truth!

Pai: PAI!!! P-A-I!!!!

Police: Pai, eh? Ok son, show me your driver's license.

Pai: My what?

Police: Okay kid. We're taking you in. Where are your parents?

Pai: They're gone.

Police: Aye aye aye aye…

Police: Okay son, we're going to the police office to sign a few damage paperwork.

(LUCKILY FOR OUR NOT SO BRIGHT ALIENS, THE POLICE OFFICE WAS RIGHT BY THE GROCERY STORE. SO KISH PAI AND TART SLIPPED AWAY)

--------------------------------------------------Store Silliness-------------------------------------

Tart: God, he was so annoying.

Kish: Your name is Pai, dammit! Why didn't that idiot get that?

Pai: There must be something on earth called 'pie.'

Kish: Well whatever it is, it sounds like people like it.

-Tart sees a bottle-

Tart: This looks drinkable.

Pai: Prune juice. What in the name of Deep Blue is prune juice?

Kish: I dunno. Should we get it?

Pai: Gack, why not.

Tart: Ey, what about this?

Pai: Coca-Cola. Hmm. Let me read the inscription. 'Caffeine Diagnosed. 5 Sugar added.' No way, Taruto. Caffeine makes you hyper and you'll have too much sugar rushes.

Kish: Yeah, get addicted to something else, like drugs. Hehehehe.

Tart: Shut up! (Punches Kish playfully on the arm) -Quickly and quietly slips a can of coke in his pocket-

Pai: Let's go. (Start to leave when a security guard grabs their arms)

Security Guard: And just where do you think your going?

Tart: Ouch! Let go of me, Goliath!

Pai: Brothers, Teleport! Wait -- oh yeah. WE CAN'T!

Security: For stealing; you're going to do Community Service for 24 hours you brutes!

(one day later)

--------------------------------------------Back Home-----------------------------------

Tart: Damn, who could have thought humans were so selfish?

Pai: I warned you.

Tart: Hey, don't worry. I sniped some food while their backs were turned.

Pai: What have you got?

Tart: A pack of soda, ice cream, and ramen.

Kish: RAMEN!!!

Pai: Impressive. Your getting rather sneaky, heh.

Kish: RAMEN!!!

Tart: Oh, and I told the security guard he was a bastard.

Kish: RAMEN!!!

Pai: Heh.

Kish: RAMEN!!!

Pai: Yes, ramen! Now, shutup!

Kish: …lol naruto XD

Kish: OH! By the way, when we were in that retirement home, I saw these cool green things so I took them all. Hee.

Pai: Green things? Show me.

(Kish hands Pai $1,000,000)

Pai: SHIT! KISH, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE?!?

Tart: What?

Pai: Earth dollar money! And we have a million! Do you know what this means??

Kish: We're frickin' rich!!! Yeah!!!

(Kish & Tart High-5)

-In a month or so, they bought a mansion, all the food you can eat, Pai learned to drive, got maids, and went to school. Pai legally declares that their last name will be 'Cyniclon.'-

-----------------------------------------Kish's First Day at High School------------------------

Ms. Kayun: Good morning class. Today we have a new student, an exchange student. I want you to make him feel very welcome, okay? He is fourteen, has one older brother, a younger brother, and is really rich.

(Class perks up; lmao)

Ichigo: _A New Student? Great, a rich one. Probably a jerk. _

Ms Kayun: Please let me introduce to you, Kish Cyniclon! (Door creaks open)

-Kish steps in, Ichigo gasps. Kish looks at the girl that gasps, then smirks-

Ms Kayun: Kish, please have a seat next to Ms. Momomiya.

Kish: Sure thing. And my, don't you look lovely today?

Ms. Kayun: (Blushes deeply) Why, thank you, Kish.

All the girls: Ah… (Dreamily)

Ichigo: _This is not happening. He is not Kish. This is not happening. He is not Kish._

(Kish walks over)

Kish: (Whispers) Hiya, honey!

Ichigo: _This __is__ Kish and this __is__ happening._

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**review! much more to come!**


	2. Chapter 2

**kk, i know that stories aren't allowed to be in script format but oh well ~ **

* * *

--------------------------------------Pai's First Day College-----------------------------------------

Pai: Says my dorm is Dormitory 2108, and my roommate is…I can't see…the paper got wet.

(Enters his room)

Pai: Hi I'm Pai your roommate and I'd like to----GAH!!!

Voice: Oh come on, I'm not that ugly---GAH!!!

Pai: Fujiwara, what are you doing here?

Zakuro: I am your roommate.

Pai: Oy! This isn't happening.

Zakuro: I don't believe it. Where are your ears? Your clothes, Pai?

Pai: I don't know. Something happened. Well, should we start to study together or babble like fools?

Zakruo: I guess we can study. But no combat, I have to pass college in order to proceed my modeling.

Pai: I lost my power, fool. Why do you think I'm here? Vacation? Sure…

Zakuro: Let me lay down some rules down, pretty boy. One, I don't appreciate disrespect. Two, If I don't ace college I'll come back here and kill you, and Three, never do anything without my permission, got it?

Pai: Whatever…

-------------------------Tart's First Day at Elementary School------------------------------

Mr. Gaara: Well Taruto, to start off your day, you must find a partner for the rest of the school year. You'll be like buddies and he or she will show you around. Let's see my list…Who can help you…? Sasuke, Nakijama, no, no, no. Ah, Miss Pudding! She will be your pen pal.

Tart: Pudding? Pudding Fon?

Mr. Gaara: You know her?

Tart: Darn, know her? I—

Voice: Taru-Taru!

Tart: Shit.

Taruto: What are you doing here, Pudding…?

Pudding: It's school, silly! I come here to learn so I can teach my siblings as well as myself! Why are _you _here?

Taruto: Because.

Pudding: Because why?

Tart: You wouldn't believe me.

Pudding: I bet I would.

Tart: Do you believe in fairies?

Pudding: Oh yes! Pudding-Chan very much does!

Tart: Okay, then I guess I can share it with you.

Pudding: I like it when friends share.

Tart: Okay…so-

Pudding: HEY EVERYBODY, ME AND TARU-TARU ARE BEST FRIENDS!

Tart: Keep it down will ya?

Pudding: I'LL SHOUT TO THE WORLD!

Tart: …YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!

Pudding: Speak for yourself. Wow, I'm still a bit taller than you!

Tart: KEH! SHUT UP!

Pudding: I'm sorry, Taru-taru. Would a candy drop make it better?

Tart: Huh? (Blushes crazily) NO IT WILL NOT MAKE IT BETTER! YOUR JUST TRYING TO—

(Pudding pops a candy drop in his mouth)

Tart: Wha--?

Pudding: Yey! Yup, me and Taru-Taru. Best friends.

--------------------------------------------Back to Kish-----------------------------------

Ms. Kayun: Okay. When you are finished with your homework, class, you may have some free time. Oh, and Kish?

Kish: Yes, sensai?

Ms. Kayun: (Blush) I'd like to see you after class.

Kish: Of course. (Smug grins)

Ichigo: Hey...Kish. Is that y-you?

Kish: Of course it is, kitty!

Ichigo: What...happened?

Kish: (Smile) I'll tell ya if you gimme a kiss.

Ichigo: Ugh, never! _Great. He's still the same old pervy playboy. (Feels a tap on shoulder)_

Ichigo: Yes?

Kish: What's this?

(Ichigo turns around to see Kish holding a pencil)

Ichigo: Uhm, it's a pencil?

Kish: Oh… (smiles, scratches back of head) thanks!

Ichigo: _Rar. I bet he knows. He's just playing with me. AGAIN._

Kish: I'm done. Can you check my homework, Koneko-Chan?

Ichigo: (Sigh) -Takes the paper-_ I bet he's an idiot. I mean, how could he be smart. He's an alien, not a human..._Whoa, you got everything right, nyaa!

Kish: I have to tell you something.

Ichigo: What?

Kish: It's a secret.

Ichigo: What, what?

Kish: Move closer. Give me your ear.

(Ichigo leans over to hear, and finds herself shocked when Kish kisses her on the cheek)

Ichigo: Kish!

Kish: Hehehehe. You're still as feisty as usual. And one day...

Ichigo: No...

Kish: Yes. One day, I'll make you mine.

Ichigo: No!

Kish: Don't resist, Neko. You _will _be mine.

--------------------------------------------Free Time--------------------------------------

Ichigo: Moe, Miwa! What do you think abou the new guy?

Moe: He's cute!

Miwa: He looks nice...(Blush)

Ichigo: What do you think sensei is talking to him about?

Miwa: I haven't the slightest hint.

Ms. Kayun: Kish, your older brother tells me you have a rather expandable academic mind, so I would like for you to come to Marumoto Middle School's dance. It's only for students that are dignified, smart, and refined...Such as yourself. (Turns a deep crimson...AGAIN)

Kish: Thank you, sensei. Hai! (Bows, and trots off toward Ichigo)

Kish: Guess what, neko?

Miwa: Bye Ichigo!!!

Ichigo: No! Don't go!

Moe: Why does he call you neko? Oh, I gotta go! Byebye! (Winks at Ichigo) Break the ice.

Kish: (Ichigo shifts uncomfortably) I got invited to the school dance, and was wondering if you were.

Ichigo: Yeah I was--I mean, maybe I was and maybe I wasn't. What's it to you, Kish?

Kish: Let's just say, I got some plans, kitty-cat.

Ichigo: Meow! (Ears & Tail pop out)

--------------------------------------- Getting to know you---------------------------------

(Pai sitting across from Zakuro, studying on the computer about earth life form organisms)

(Zakuro across from Pai on the bed reading a poetry article book)

-Each of them occasionally stole glances of one another; and finally there eyes met.-

(Zakuro got lost in Pai's deep pools of lavender eyes. His bangs would soar as he moved his head; ever so slightly)

(Pai stared at Zakuro for moments, not even knowing it. Her body was so slender, her face so soft and fair…)

-Seconds later they both blushed and got back to work-

Zakuro: Did you know that Japanese poetry write Yuuri Kakana was interested in other races?

Pai: Oh really?

Zakuro: Yeah. He studied the theory of aliens…

Pai: …(Walks over to Zakuro) May I see?

(Zakuro hands him the book)

---PAI'S HAND GENTLY FALLS ON ZAKURO'S AS REACHING OUT FOR THE BOOK; THEY ABRUPTLY SEIZE THEIR HANDS BACK, BLUSH, AND RESUME THEIR WORK---

x x x ELEMENTARY SCHOOL x x x

Pudding: Taru-Taru, are you going to the talent show to watch me perform my tricks?

Tart: No, I will not.

Pudding: But…why? (All cute and teary looking)

Tart: Don't do that.

Pudding: I worked really hard to make you welcome.

Tart: No, you can't convince me.

Pudding: For a candy drop?

Tart: No.

Pudding: Two?

Tart: No! Stop trying to persuade me!

Pudding: A kiss from Pudding-Chan?

Tart: No, I--! (Stops abruptly and blushes)

Tart: I gotta go! (Runs away)

x x x MIDDLE SCHOOL x x x

Kish: Hey, koneko, will you go to the dance with me?

Ichigo: No, I'm going with Masaya.

Kish: That fat bastard?!

Ichigo: Don't call him a bastard!

Kish: Why don't you wanna go with me, ne? I'm hotter than he'll ever be! Besides, I'm nicer, funnier, smarter, and cuter!

Ichigo: No your not.

Kish's Fangirls: Yes he is!

Kish: Damn! The fangirls are attacking! See ya, koneko. And don't think this is the last time I will ask you!

-Lunch-

Masaya: May I sit here, Ichigo?

Ichigo: (Looks up dreamily) Of course, Masaya.

Masaya: Thank you.

(Kish steps into the scene)

Kish: Hey, Ichigo. Will you go to the dance with me now?

Ichigo: No!

Kish: Aw, c'mon. (Grabs her waist and brings her closer in to him)

Masaya: Uh, excuse me, but Ichigo is going with me.

Kish: Shut up, human.

Masaya: I beg your pardon

Kish: Geez Ichigo, he's so nerdy. (Still clinging on to her neck)

Masaya: Momomiya-San, can I speak with you.…(Looks at Kish; Kish glares back with an evil smirk) Alone?

Ichigo: Anything for you, Aoyama-kun. (Tries to get up, but finds it hard with Kish nuzzling the back of her neck) Erg, Kish get off of me.

Kish: Alright, Koneko-chan. (Let's go of Ichigo) Bye, honney! (Kish leaves and plops on a seat on an empty table, when suddenly a flurry of people rush to his table and seat themselves be him, Kish smirks, looks back at Ichigo, and blows her a kiss)

Masaya: Ichigo, I am pretty ticked off right now.

Ichigo: Well, Masaya, I'm sorry I-

Masaya: No. Don't start your crybaby excuses. That's it, Ichigo. I can't handle you anymore. It's over. We're through.

Ichigo: Are you b-br-breaking up with me..? (Tears burn in her eyes)

Masaya: … (Walks away and sits by another girl)

Ichigo: …NO! (Cat ears and tail pop out and she runs out of the school)

Kish: …Ichigo?

(preppy girl)Takumi: Who cares about her, she'll be fine. Now back to yourself.

Kish: …I got to go. (Runs out chasing Ichigo)

Kish: Ichigo, come back! Your headed toward the alley!

Ichigo: Leave me alone! I don't need your "told ya so" remark right now!

Kish: Wait, don't go neko! You'll get yourself hurt!

Ichigo: _How can I ever forget about my one true love…Masaya? I can't bear it…I need to be alone, no Kish comforting me, no parents lecturing me, ALONE._

Voice: Hey hey hey, what have we got here..? A hottie. What's your name, sweety?

Ichigo: Who said that?

(A boy and his gang step from the shadows. The boy had black, glossy hair that hung loose around his strong, neck bones. He was holding a bottle of beer that was empty; beside him was a big, black guy, carrying a stereo system on his shoulder, and on the boy's other side was this skinny, gaunt teenager girl, with appearances as dull as death. She was smoking, and her cheek bones were pale and sucked in)

Ichigo:_ The Japan JoyKills! (A infamous gang in Tokyo)_

Boy: My name is Sen Juhiro, what's yours?

Ichigo: None of your business. You guys are bad influences. (Starts to run away when the leader, Sen, grabs her and pulls her into a too-close embrace)

Sen: I like you, you're pretty…(Ichigo could smell his foul, drunken breath. Sen leans to kiss her and Ichigo slaps him)

Big Black Guy: Ooh, girlie's got attitude, Sen.

Sen: Shut up! Now, I'm gonna try this one more time. And I want you to respond like a good little girl.

Ichigo: NO! (Kick his shin)

Sen: OOW!

(Gaunt girl laughs hysterically)

Sen: Shut up, Mika! (Like a coward, Mika stops laughing) Combo, beat her up!!!

Big Guy (Combo): Sure thing, boss. (Puts down the stereo system and sinisterly steps toward Mika)

Mika: NO! (Screams; Ichigo squeezes her eyes tightly. When she opens them, Mika lay in a heap of blood, cringing and cowering on the floor.) _I wish Kish were here to protect me…_

Sen: See, missy? If you don't listen to me, this is what will happen to you. (Points to Mika) –As if on cue, Flake gasps for air- Now, are you going to give me a kiss? (He nears in, wrapping his arms around her waist as she's backed up to a junkyard wall)

Sen: I'm glad you've agreed. After this kiss, I'm gonna make you my girlfriend, and I'll give you the honors of shooting Mika and killing the miserable wimp. (Flakes Mika)

Mika: But I thought I was your girlfriend.. –cough-

Sen: (grins) Not anymore.

Ichigo: Stopp! (Sen grabs Ichigo's chin and is ready to snog her when he unexpectedly falls)

Voice of Kish: Take that, you son of a bitch!

Combo: Why you..! (Combo leaps to attack but Kish punches him so hard Combo is blown out and falls down)

Ichigo: Kish!

Kish: I'm kinda like your hero, aren't I?

Ichigo: Yes, yes indeed. (Gives Kish a light peck)

Kish: Geez Ichigo, you kiss like a woodpecker! (Grabs Ichigo and kisses her with a little lick on her lip) That's more like it!

Ichigo: Kish, I need you to help this girl. Her name is Mika. She was beaten up by those horrid gangsters.

Kish: Anything for you, Ichigo. (Slips his long arms under Mika and raises and eyebrow) Does this mean your going to the dance with me?

Ichigo: Umm, maybe?

Kish: Right.

----------------------------------WLCA MEETING 4:00 P.M------------------------------------------

Zakuro: Are you going to the meeting, Pai?

Pai: No. I don't need WLCA to encourage my high ranked abilities. (Zakuro snickers, Pai glares)

Zakuro: I can't make it either, I have my modeling shoot.

Pai: Hrrm. Modeling shoot? You're a model?

Zakuro: Don't I look like one?

Pai: Yes. Uh--! I mean, no! I mean, sort of. Maybe, I don't know! D'oh! (Blushes deeply)

Zakuro: It's raining…again. I'm going outside to enjoy the weather.

Pai: …go ahead.

(Zakuro leaves)

-Pai is working until 30 minutes later he hears a scream-

(He runs out side to see Zakuro half-naked, shivering on the ground with bruises and cuts and a swelling eye)

Pai: Fujiwara-san, what happened? (staring at her breasts)

Zakuro: (Tears wallowed in her eyes) I came outside and I was robbed and I was mugged. (She takes out her wallet that had nothing in it, and her purse was empty. The watch her great-grandmother gave her was stripped bare of her skin. She started to sob bitterly, but quietly. Pai cocked his head)

Pai: (Walks over and kneels down were Zakuro lay) What are these? (Touches Zakuro's cheek, where her tears strolled down)

Zakuro: (Wipes her face with her hand) They're tears.

Pai: Oh. Why are you shaking?

Zakuro: I'm scared and I need someone to hold me. (Trembles a little, gets up, walks to the college unsteadily, but falls down again)

Pai: Foolish. (Pulls Zakuro up and hesitantly wraps his arms around her slender waist. She looks up surprised, and he winces a little, but then her face softened up as she rest her head on her shoulder…)

Maid Mokana: How was school today, honey?

Tart: Interesting.

Mokana: When will Kish and Pai come?

Tart: Oh? Kish in another hour or so…but Pai, we won't be seeing him for a month, he's at college.

Mokana: Oh, I'll miss that bossy old lug. (She smiled playfully)

Tart: Yeah. (Dumps his backpack in the closet)

Mokana: Something wrong Taruto?

Tart: Nah…What have we got to eat?

Mokana: Let me check with chef, sweetie. (Mokana gave a loving motherly stare –AWW XD- and walked away)

Tart: (catches himself thinking of Pudding) what the heck!? why am I thinking of her…

-----------------------------------------------HOUR LATER--------------------------------------------

Kish: Evening, Mokana.

Mokana: Hi, Kish-san. –cough-

Kish: Oh my, have you caught a cold?

Mokana: Not exactly, sweetheart.

Kish: ?

Mokana: Never mind me, dear.

Kish: Where's Tart?

Mokana: In his room. Would you like something to eat?

Kish: No thank you. But I'll have a glass of Poehoeh--- I mean, pip sea.

Mokana: Oh, you mean pepsi?

Kish: Yeah, that's the one. Call me when ready. (Runs to Tart's room, opens the door, and sees Tart sprawled on his bed looking at the ceiling) Hey, Taruto.

Tart: How was school?

Kish: You'll never believe.

Tart: Let me guess…Ichigo kicked you in your crotch.

Kish: Yes-I MEAN NO! She might go to the dance with me.

Tart: Oh that's cool—WHAT?! I thought she hated you.

Kish: She finally accepted my major intellect.

(Tart snorts in laughter)

Tart: I wonder what Pai's doing…

Kish: What are you thinking about?

Tart: What do you mean what are you thinking about?! (Blushes)

Kish: You're thinking about Pudding; aren't you?

Tart: NO!

Kish: Admit it, Tart. Gosh darn it who would care?

Tart: Pai would kill me…even if I DID like her…

Kish: Your expression is restless…tell me what's on your chest.

Tart: How many days have passed?

Kish: I don't know, 3.

_97 more days…_

Tart: I'm gonna tell you something super-secret. You can't, repeat, CANNOT tell Pai.

Kish: Sure. One for the money, two for the show. (Smiles)

Tart: Do you know how we became humans?

Kish: Yeah, about that…

Tart: A fairy came to me and I wished for it.

Kish: BWAHEHEHEHEHEH!

Tart: Stop it! I'm telling the truth, dammit! Look, Mahou!! Mahou, get your butt over here! PLEASE!

Kish: Okay, whatever. Bye, Tart. (Leaves)

Tart: Great, now Kish thinks I'm insane. Mahou, where ever you are, you are one hell bad of a guardian fairy! Oh, I get it, You just don't want Kish to see you so he won't know you exist.

Voice of Mahou: Actually, I just want him to think your nuts.

Tart: SHUT UP!

Mahou: (Appears) I'm just watching over you. After all, I am your mo—UHNN…BYE! (Disappears)

Tart: …Huh?

---------------------------------------Council Of the Fairies------------------------------------------

Grande Fairy: Mahou, you idiot. You almost gave out the fairy secret code to Taruto.

Mahou: Code shmode. What the hell is up with the code, anyway?

Grade Fairy: (Sigh) I've been over this many times with you. The code clearly states "All fairies that are assigned to kids must never tell them who they really are in actual life."

Mahou: Can't a fairy be both fairy and human and be proud of it??

Grand Fairy: Yes, but when you are granting, you must stay under legal procedures. No more mess-ups like that or else, okay?

Mahou: Yes…but, I'm lying to my son. I'm _lying _to him.

Grand Fairy: A little guilt and a white lie here and there won't kill you, Mahou. Onward.

-------------------------------------Visiting Pai---------------------------------------------------

Kish: Geez, it's been five days already and the date is 'February 13th.' I miss Pai.

Tart: Yeah, he's been at college too long. GWAH, why are human schools so long?!

Mokana: You know, you guys could visit him… -cough, wheeze-

Kish: Really? O.o

Mokana: As a matter of fact, let me drive you there myself. –hack-

---------------------------------------Pai in Action-------------------------------------------

Tart: What's Pai's worm number?

Mokana: You mean dorm, hon. It's 2108. Hmm, fascinating. –cough, cough-

Kish: Wha?

Mokana: It says Pai shares a room with a model, Zakuro Fujiwara.

(Tart and Kish LOL)

Tart: Are you serious? I have got to see this.

Kish: Maybe they're doing…What's that human word called..?

Tart: I think it's saxophone.

Kish: No, sax.

Tart: Ooh! SEX~

Mokana: SEX?! Who taught you that word!?! –wheeze-

Kish: I see Pudding and Tart doing it all the time. (Smirks in an evil way)

Tart: SHUT UP YOU JACK ASS!

Mokana: Come on, boys, Kish-san, what'd I tell you about picking on Taruto-san? –cough-

Kish: Sorry, Mokana.

Mokana: Who is this –cough- Pudding?

Tart: A dessert.

Kish: Liar! She's a girl! –makes kissy faces at Taruto-

Tart: Retard!!

Mokana: Goodness gracious me, and for a moment (cough) I thought you were talking about custard. Hehehehe.

Kish: Cus-tard? Is that like half cuss and half retard?

Mokana: You boys really are silly. Oh look, this is Pai's dorm. (Knock knock) (No answer)

Kish: Here, maybe the door's unlocked. (Twists the knob and it opens, with no-one inside. There's a note, a Mokaaa snatches it and starts to read…)

NOTICE:

DEAR VISITORS, IF YOU EITHER NEED FUJIWARA-SAN OR PAI-SAN, THEY ARE IN THE HOSPITAL. FURTHER DIALOGUE WILL BE DISTRIBUTED BY THE DOCTORS. THANK YOU.

Mokana: Oh my lord.

Kish: What's wrong, Mokana?

Mokana: It's Pai. He's in the hospital.

Tart: Let's go. What are we waiting for?

-Hospital-

Mokana: Pai! Pai-San!!! (coughs)

Tart: Are you alright??

Kish: Where are you?!!!

Pai: Stop worrying, I'm fine. Nothing's wrong.

Mokana: Then why the hell are you at the hospital? I was sick worried I thought I might have died if something happened to you!! I love you boys very much, you are dear to me! Don't go off like that leaving some notices written by bakas saying that you're nearly dead! You're practically my sons! (coughs uncontrollably, grasping her chest)

Pai: Mokana, it's alright. I just came here to aid Fujiwara.

Kish: What happened to her?

Pai: She got mugged. (Touches Zakuro's hair, and runs his fingers along her cheek) She also had, something called, 'tee-ears.'

Mokana: She is very beautiful, isn't she?

(Pai suddenly realizes what he was doing, leapt up, and showed his pride again)

Pai: But the next time she's bagged I'll leave her to die.

Tart: Harsh.

Pai: I do not do 'sweet' things. Do not take me for a love-sick fool.

Mokana: I'm sorry, Pai. I didn't know I insulted you. (breathing becomes shallow)

Pai: (Sigh) Damn it, who can help it if they're misunderstood…(Runs away)

Kish: Oh shit! I'm late for the dance!!! You guys go find Pai, I have to go!

x x x MOMENTS LATER x x x

Tart: Mahou! MAHOU, PLEASE! Pai has ran away and Kish has went to the valentine dance! Mokana is incredibly ill and I don't know what to do! I HATE BEING A HUMAN! CHANG ME BACK! CHANGE US BACK! FOR GOD'S SAKE, COME OUT, WOMAN!!! (Mahou appears with a solemn look on her face)

Mouss: Oh, Tart. You wouldn't want me to show you where Pai is.

Tart: Yes, I would!

Mouss: Very well. I'm terribly sorry. My heart burns with sorrow for you. Look. (Holds up a crystal ball with Pai and a couple of other guys. Pai is kneeling down in front of two guys who looked like gangsters. They handed Pai a gun and Pai took it hesitantly. And one gangster was thin with glossy black hair, and one was big and black with a stereo system…)

x x x x x x

Voice: (A soft, low voice) Taruto…come…here.

Tart: Okay, you can go now, Mahou … -runs out of room to Mokana's room-

Taruto: Yes, Mokana?

Mokana: Such a good boy.

Tart: ???

Mokana: Come closer.

-Tart nears her suspiciously-

Mokana: When have you become such a handsome young man? –strokes his arm- (coughs)

Mokana: I need to (cough) tell you something… (cough, cough) I'm…I am going to d-die soon.

Tart: NO! You c-cant! You can't die! I won't allow it!

Mokana: Take care of you brothers for me. (Touches his cheek, as tears stroll down Tart's eyes) Be strong.

Tart: No… (tears roll down his eyes)

Makanaa: I love you, Tart.

Tart: NO! Don't close your eyes!

Makanaa: (Smiles weakly) I…love…y---

………………………………………………………………

Tart: NOO!!!

* * *

**review :'( poor tart. **

**there there. -pats tart-**


End file.
